It is that time of year that my inbox is inundated with requests for recommendations, letters of support, and serving as a reference. Unless I truly don’t know the student, I always say “Yes.”
Why? Because young people need (old) people who can attest to their strengths and opportunities for improvement. I have spent many a January (when our foundation scholarship applications are due) writing dozens of letters of support that highlight a student’s best qualities and a need for financial support.
I have many colleagues who do the same every year for students who are applying to graduate programs, internships, graduate assistantships, and jobs. It is sometimes a thankless job (except for the handful of students who show their appreciate via email or [gasp!] handwritten letter).
First, let me define some terms just to be sure we are on the same page. A recommendation letter is a written document that contains several paragraphs (ideally) about the person who requested it. The letter may contain descriptions of academic skills and achievements, career-related strengths, special background information that is pertinent to the reader, and personal attributes. A reference can be simply contact information that is provided that can be used by the potential employer, supervisor, or funder to communicate about the candidate. The communication is often by phone or in person, but rarely in written format.
Both types can take considerable time, but a recommendation letter often takes a little more time to compose and submit in the appropriate format.
When I sit down to write a recommendation or complete a standardized form, I do so with the express purpose of sharing my experience with the student in the best light. I pull on completed assignments and conversations and highlight how their classmates interacted with them. I am specific and detailed. I want the student to get the scholarship, or internship, or admission to graduate school, or job. It takes time because I take this part of my job very seriously.
I also let my first-year students know early on that I can and will be glad to serve in the role of reference for them. This is where I share my contact information and wait for someone to contact me. Students, especially those who have just started college, always need someone to serve as a reference. How do I know this? Because my own kids had trouble finding good, reliable people to write them letters of recommendation. Who knew we recommenders were a rare group.
But, alas, this blog post is not about me. But I do share my experience to let you know that we do exist–those who are ready to help a student with written observations of their abilities and promise.
With that said, your student, whether a freshman or a senior, will need someone who can vouch for them during college and more likely than not, they will need that person to turn out a recommendation pretty quickly. So the more you can coach your student to prepare ahead of time, the better. Here are some steps to share with them that will make this process easier.
Cultivate relationships now.
This is hard to get students to do, but they need to get to know professors, advisors, mentors, and employers well. Ask them to identify at least one person each semester that they feel comfortable enough to get to know. This can be done through small talk, conversations about personal interests, and deeper conversations about courses or career pathways. A recommendation writer needs to know more than a name and a major.
Find a mentor.
This person could be someone on campus or in the workforce, but a mentor can do more than just provide guidance, they can be someone who has enough interaction and insight to write about your student. People who may be mentors but who maybe shouldn’t be asked to write recommendation letters: family members and religious workers (pastors, priests, youth group directors) unless the recommendation is about personal character.
Ask early and ask many.
Even if your student doesn’t have a specific need yet, ask a few people if they would be willing–sometime in the future–to attest to their skills. And be sure that your student creates a list (in other words, more than one, preferably 3 or more) people, including their contact information that they can use to reach out when they need something.
Keep an updated resume.
I coach students on creating a resume their first semester of college even if they don’t have much to add at the time. The goal should be to intentionally add organizations, volunteer or community work, awards and achievements, and experience with each semester. But a resume that includes an intended major or a “brag sheet” of activities, experiences, and accomplishments helps the reference to fill out their descriptions. Share this resume when a request is made.
Give them all the “deets.”
This is probably the most important task. When asking for a letter of recommendation, provide the who, what, how, when, and where. I had a student tell me recently that she did not get to pledge a sorority because one of her recommenders did not put the letter on letterhead per the guidelines. She now is unable to join an organization because directions were not followed. This may seem like an extreme example–and not the student’s fault–but I had a student ask for a letter for a scholarship and because she never told me to whom it went, I guessed, and sent it to the wrong person.
*To whom should it be addressed?
*What should be highlighted in the letter? (e.g., academic potential? career interests? financial need?)
*How does it need to be formatted or sent?
*When does it need to be submitted?
*Where does it need to go?
Go generic.
While I highly recommend specific recommendation letters, there are times that a generic one will do. This is especially true if your student learns of an internship, for example, with a due date in a few days. Your student can request one by letting the recommender know that they want one “on file” should they need one quickly. Your student can always follow up later with a specific request.
Show gratitude. This is one my of soapboxes. I tell students all the time that if they ask for and receive a letter of recommendation, they should write a thank-you letter as soon as possible. An email that expresses thanks is fine, but if you really want to take it to another level, send a handwritten note card. The message can be simple: “Thank you for taking time to write me a letter of recommendation. I will keep you updated on [insert what the recommender was recommending you for] when I find out. Sincerely, [your student’s name here].”
It is worth saying that your student wants to reach out to someone who is trustworthy and who can communicate clearly and who, of course, will say positive things about your student. College professors, staff, and administrators can be some of the best people to ask as they have the advantage of getting to know students professionally and personally. But be sure to encourage your student to take the first step by getting to know them.
